Forgiveness is a common trait taught in many philosophies, spirituality modalities and religions.

One definition for forgiveness is a conscious and deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

To forgive another is a self-empowering tool. It is a decision to put down the burdens that are formed psychologically and emotionally that can hinder your day-to-day dealings in your physical world.

One might ask is forgiveness a power self-empowering tool then? The Curator thinks that it is unlikely to be able to quantify how powerful is forgiveness. This is because it is unlikely for us to quantify our hurt, grievance and resentment that caught on us from the unpleasant experiences that we had.

Since forgiveness is a decision to release these psychological and emotional burdens, the Curator thinks that forgiveness is as powerful as how much the hurt, grievance and resentment had hindered or obstructed us. The more these hurt, grievance and resentment had sucked us deep, the more liberated one ought to achieve when forgiveness is given.

There are some spiritual and religious ideas that the person who is hurt, instead of forgiving his or her perpetrators, the victim ought to thank them for clearing a karmic debt. If you carry on listening or read the proponents of such ideas further, it is likely that they are also the same proponent on the idea of free will. This is, from the Curator’s perspective, paradoxical.

This is because if everyone is acting on free will, then you should not have believed that the hurt done from one person to another is due to the abstract karmic debt belief. Because the latter would meant that the hurt, which is the getting even, has to happen.

Does the perpetrators need to know that you have forgiven them?

The Curator’s answer to this is not necessarily so. This is because by forgiving your perpetrators, it does not automatically transform them into better versions of them. In certain cases, it is even possible for these perpetrators to come to you and make your life miserable again.

Forgiveness is a personal journey and it does take psychological and emotional strength to act on it. You do not have to do so if you are not ready. While it is important to acknowledge our hurt, grievance and resentment because these negative emotion are part of us too, we need to find that balance to then remove ourselves from these bonds so that we can move forward.

Do you harbour strong and deep hurt, grievance and resentment now?